En mi cultura no se habla mucho de la salud mental, we tell our mothers mama que me duele el corazon and praying to God always seem to be the answer. (Salud Mental Poem by Vianney Harelly)
Growing up in a culture where if you are hurting but your mom thinks you shouldn't be hurting for that y si no te calmas te va a dar otro para que llores de verdad, let's be real, it can fuck you up. So growing up and deciding we are going to go to school or be business owners can be a little more challenging for some than for others. Mental health is not something we need to be afraid or embarrassed to talk about.
Being a business owner is tough, now add up being a mom, doing laundry, cooking, going to work, going to school, paying all the bills, coping with someone's death. It feels like it never stops doesn't it? Como te acostumbras? Do you just let it all pile up? Do you cry at nights when nobody is watching? Are you ready to give up in your business?
Dejame te digo esto, It is ok to not be ok! No renuncies. No hagas tus sentimientos a un lado. Remember asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it's actually a sign of strength. But if you are not ready for that read through these tips that have helped me stay consistent in my business.
1. Practice Mindfulness Living- This one can be really hard I know but believe me when I say this can save you from a lot of stress. Meditating, writing in your journal, accept the present, live in the present. Live one day at a time. As business owners a veces creemos que tenemos que hacer todo a la de ya, and eventhough we do, learning to organize our time and seeing what can wait until tomorrow and what has to be done today so we just keep living in the present can help.
2. Read- you guys I can not tell you enough what reading has done to me! Reading books of people who I can identify with is just amazing. Read books that are going to make you smarter in any way but it is ok to give yourself a break and read that novel in between. Here are my favorite 3 books of authors I identify with. Girl, wash your face by Rachel Hollis. You are a badass by Jen Sincero. Here are the tears I you we didn't cry by Vianney Harelly.
3. Alone time- Specially if you are a mom, you need alone time. Momming is beautiful but is also horrible haha specially when you have multiple kids parece que se ponen de acuerdo, so for your freaking sanity demand your alone time. Get a pedicure, go for a walk, get a coffee and walk around target (be prepare to spend money)
4. Health- Friend your health has to be your #1 priority, eating well, get your movement on, drink your water, sleep at least 8 hours, get your vitamin D. If you are new at these you might look into these and think oh she is crazy but another day I will get to how by living a healthier lifestyle my mental health improved!!!
5. Ask for help- If you are anything like me you hate asking for help, according to my therapist this has to do with how I was raised haha. Now as an adult understanding I cannot, LITERALLY physically cannot do everything by myself and I need help has helped lift some weight off my shoulders. Let me just say if you have a village who supports your in anyway you need to aprovecharla!!!
6. Learn to say NO!- Again, in our culture we were thought to help each other, to be there for our parents, siblings, family members, friends to always support each other and as this can be a beautiful thing it can also be exhausting, sometimes I wonder why our antepasadas always looked tired and sad, now I get it! Learning to say no is hard but in order to have a healthy mental health is necessary this will lead us to focus more on what's important and that is being a successful business owner.
7. Surround yourself with YOUR PEOPLE- Surround yourself with people that add to you, chose your relationships well. Analyze who are you giving your time to! Are they adding anything to you? Knowledge, peace, help? Or are they only taking from you? Are you able to be your trueself when you are with them? Or do you need to act differently? You want to be able to sit in a table where you are comfortable, where they are cheering for you and with people you will want to call first with any news!!!
8. Choose peace over $- This one can be hard for business owners, I KNOW, but I have been there and let me tell you this, even if you are making a lot of money working with someone, is it worth your peace? I know for me it ain't. It's now about being mature and working and ignoring. Sometimes you have to choose do you want to have more money or do you want to have a good mental health? I always put it this way, if I make myself go through this, me amarro uno y la mitad del otro and keep working eventhough is affecting my mental health, yeah I'm going to have more money! But it will get to a point where all this weight I've been putting on myself will make me slow down in my business, maybe even send me to therapy haha which means spend money. As if I decide to not work in that atmosphere of stress maybe I will not make all that money now but continuing to care for my mental health and stay positive and then I will attract the right people to work with.
9. Be authentic- Living in an era of trends, always stay authentic. I know as business owners we are always looking for ways to grow our business and it can be very exhausting to stay up with all these trends, this can make us feel stressed, and I am here to tell you that you don't have to do everything everyone else is doing. Create content that shows your audience who you are! ALWAYS BE YOU! When you are you, everywhere you go, life gets easier, you are not pretending, you are not pleasing and you will DEFINITELY BE HAPPIER!!!
10. Safe person- Always know who your safe person is, this person can be your partner, sibling, parent, friend or a therapist. Anyone you can tell anything, this person is who holds you when you are about to break, this person will be there for you 100% of the time, they will listen when you need to be listened to. Your safe person is your ride or die. Having at least a person you can count on might be the most important thing in someone's life.
Always remember you can not pour from an empty cup, keep yours full so your business stays on track!
I hope you guys made it this far! And I hope these tips help in any way! Please reach out with any feedback, questions or if you need a safe person.
Con mucho amor Valeria.